Darker Days

At the end of my most recent class I discovered I was pregnant.  Most women would have been thrilled, over the moon, so grateful and full of joy...  I was not.  I did NOT want to be pregnant.  I was angry at God, angry at Mitch and mostly angry at myself.  I do not like being pregnant, I do not particularly like the baby stage, I do not like being up every 2 hours to a screaming infant, I do not like having to share myself with yet another person...  Don't get me wrong, I love my boys with all of my heart, but the idea of something- anything! taking me away from them absolutely killed me.  Not to mention financially!  We were not prepared to have a third child.  I slipped into a depression.  I stopped going to school.  I stopped taking pictures.  I stopped being happy.  Then we discovered it was a girl.  Mitch was thrilled.  I was terrified.  I don't like girls, never have.  But everyone around me thought it was such a great thing...  So I opened my mind and heart to the possibilities.  And absolutely fell in love.  Meet Lily.  Lily Faith LaVire.  Due May 21st, 2012.